Well on a positive note this morning I was 164 so I have lost 2lbs since I have been back, I am so ready to lose so much more. I went out last night, it was a really good night but then ended up with the drunken munchies and having a subway..BUT me and my friend ended up picking up the wrong ones so when I went to eat it when I got home it had sweetcorn and ketchup in it which I don't like so wahhlay that was lucky..saved me from consuming those calories. Today my mum made cottage pie but afterwards I just felt really bloated so I turned the shower on and purged..feels so nice when you can just feel an empty stomach after feeling so full.

Ahhhhh it's my ex's birthday today and I text him just to say happy birthday but didn't expect a reply but he has just text back saying thank you, hows things been going...and I just went all weak. After all this time I still feel this way and I hate it..I hate how he can control how I feel. I havn't had a boyfriend since him and we split up over a year ago..I have met people but I think they are just coming in 2nd place to him which is why I seem so fussy..arghh. If you follow my blog you probably would have seen me mention him before..he is the one that split up with his gf to be with me but then after about 4 months splits up with me and gets back with her..but still carried on seeing me behind her back (bad of me I know but I couldn't help it)..it wasn't a long relationship but it was my longest and my most intense, we both just got eachother and even now when I see him I just know the way he looks at me he still gets me. But his gf is so skinny, definatly a small size 6, and of course blonde and pretty. But soo skinny, this is one reason I want to lose all this weight, maybe I'll have another chance? Maybe i'll be worthy of him then? I just miss him. And he will see that when I am thin.

Take care ladies x x x