Tuesday 9 March 2010

get me out of this routine.

Afraid to say I have seemed to have got into the cycle I see a lot of you girls get into also..the dreaded binging and purging cycle. The past week or so that is all I seem to have been doing and I need to knock it on the head fast. I havnt weighed myself in a week and I don't want to because I can tell I have not lost..if anything I've gained and I would rather not face that reality in numbers.

Since the last message I've been speaking to my ex quite a lot and I don't know whether that's good or bad. I love talking to him and id rather have him to talk to then not having him in my life at all but am I just digging my own grave here? I don't want to hurt like I did before..like I still do..but I still can't let go of the thought I may still get him back..I just need to sort myself out first and keep thinking thin. Nobodys going to want me whilst looking like I do.

I found some out pictures of a family holiday in 2006 and I actually didn't think I looked bad in a bikini..I had a flat stomach and it made me think I have 16 weeks to my holiday to tenerife and I want to look ok in a bikini again..I know I probably won't look that great in only 16 weeks but hopefully it will be a start.

xxx

3 comments:

  1. 16 weeks is a lot of time - you can definitely do some serious losing! We're here to support you, good luck and think thin!

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  2. no you are not digging your own grave, just see where it goes... and 16 weeks is plenty of time, just like birdie said. and from just reading ur blogs, u seem to have so much will-power (unlike me), so i'm confident that u can make it. /xo

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  3. 16 weeks is plenty of time! i know you can do it, and look amazing for your holiday! as long as you stay on track, you'll be able to lose loads. :)
    don't worry too much about the b&p cycle. i know it's not healthy, bu at least if you're purging, you're not actually putting on those calories.
    don't give up just yet, honey, you can do it!
    x

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